Yesterday was the day from hell. It started out so well, a nice walk, some excellent music...I was even looking forward to going to my afternoon lectures.

At 12:30 I walked out of my front door and double checked that it was locked and secure. It was at that moment that I realised my keys were inside the house.

The next five minutes consisted of me swearing a lot and checking all of the windows and doors.

No luck.

All I had on me at this point was my mobile phone, which was useless because I have no credit, and two 20 dollar notes. I am the cheapest person alive, I was not going to take a taxi, nor was I calling a locksmith.

There were three options that I could take.

1) Call Scott and demand that he comes home to let me in, even though he can't leave work to do such things.

2) Catch a bus into Glenorchy to get the spare keys from the real estate.

3) Sit on my arse and cry until Scott gets home from work at 5:30.

Number 3 was definitely out. I decided to go with number 2 and walked up to the bus stop. The next bus was at 1:45, an hours wait.

I said screw that and walked home, deciding to try option number one.

None of my damn neighbours were home, there was no way that I could make a call.

At this point I am very flustered and just want to try my best to make it to Uni. I decide to walk to the nearest shop, get some change for a pay phone and call Scott from there.

The nearest shop to my house is a 20 minute walk away, it's just after 1pm, my lecture starts at 2pm, so I get my arse walking.

While walking I realise that calling Scott would probably be useless and that he won't be able to come and let me in anyway...plus all of a sudden I desperately need to use a bathroom.

The nearest public toilet is at Woolworths, an extra 15 minute walk.

I take it, I don't care at this point if I die walking there, I really need to go.

I arrive, I use, I feel better. I decide to get one of my 20 dollar notes changed into some smaller money so that I don't piss off the bus driver.

I walk to the bus stop that is just in the parking lot. The next bus is at 2pm, and it's 1:50. I finally feel like I'm doing something right, all hope of me getting to my lectures on time have flown out the window, but I don't care, I just want to be able to get inside my house.

It hits 2pm, no bus. Now I know from past experiences that buses are never on time, ever. But for some reason that logic never occured to me yesterday and I started to freak out.

I ask the old lady sitting next to me if she's going to Glenorchy. Oh no, she says, she's going home to Ten Mile Hill.

Oh fuck. Am I at the wrong bus stop? Will I ever be able to get inside my house ever again?

I really began to panic, but thankfully my bus arrived. Yet the bus driver was insane and I thought that we were going to die.

I get into Glenorchy at 2:30 and walk the 5-10 minutes to the real estate agent.

I get in there and ask for my agent, she's not in. That's okay, I only need the keys to get into the house, can I borrow them?

Of course I can!

The receptionist then spends ages trying to find them. They're not in the office.

God damn.

He asks me if we're having any work done on our place. Why yes, there's a locksmith, a gas company, car port people and an insulation company...take your pick.

I remember that the gas company had asked for the keys last week, he calls them, they've still got them.

Fuckers.

I have to go up there and get them, they won't bring them to me.

Now at this stage I am pissed. I have to catch another bus just to get some keys that shouldn't even be there.

I arrive, I grab them and haul my arse back to yet another bus stop.

It's 3pm when I get on that bus, we arrive back into Glenorchy 15 minutes later.

There are hardly any buses that travel near my house, that's why I don't bus it to Uni. But the first lucky thing happened that day, there was one to come at 3:30.

I sit down surrounded by screaming high school kids and wait, the bus comes, I go home.

I get home a little after 4pm.

3 and a half hours I wasted, just to get keys to my house.

I am never locking myself out again.

before / after